From the Farmhouse Table: August 2020

by Elise Miller, Interim Executive Director

Jennifer Pastiloff coined the term “beauty hunting” in her 2019 memoir On Being Human – about her journey of turning loss and debilitating depression into exuberant joy by learning to exalt the small touchstones of beauty in her life is an inspiration.

In this time in history, when racism, extremism, sickness, brutality, and death dominate the news and our personal conversations and experiences, it can be really hard to find beauty at times.

A vase of bright summer flowers adorns the Farmhouse Table in front of me, but stormy thoughts of grief, rage, and bewilderment cloud my heart as I think of the painful plight of our country. The flowers might as well be a million miles away. Can I bring myself to simply see them? Can I let their beauty – right here, right now – lift the fog of fear in my mind? Is it okay to feel joy – even for a moment – when so many are living with unimaginable suffering?

All I can say is yes. It’s not only okay, but critical if we are to take purposeful action and serve the greater good more consciously and creatively. Beauty can surface in so many small ways in our lives – a child’s giggle, sunlight on a prism, a steaming cup of coffee, a smile of a loved one (even via Zoom), and much more.

Part of my own practice (when I remember) is taking a minute to soak in those fleeting experiences. It feels a bit like stretching time so that those precious moments can take up more space in my consciousness and provide a softer cushion when the harder thoughts come.

This month's theme: Beauty Hunting & Radical Self-Care

In my own quest for finding beauty, I am buoyed by our many amazing alumnae of color, who not only speak to those moments, but create them, even as they are impacted by systemic racism day in, day out. The remarkable ability to name both the pain and beauty of this world remind us of what it is to be fully human at this time – of what it is to show up in our vulnerability and brokenness, and still believe we can find a way forward.

At Hedgebrook, we believe that relishing these moments of joy and connection, particularly when everything feels so thorny and uncertain, is part of radical self-care. This is fundamental to our radical hospitality ethos, even as we’ve had to recreate our programs virtually. The webinars and online classes are designed to help you connect with all facets of who you are.

Having your unique experience and voice be held, seen, and heard by our phenomenal teachers and writing peers, is a kind of radical self-care – one that affirms and strengthens your capacity to be with your grief, despair and confusion, while not losing sight of the beauty – and yes, joy – that is there for you too.